Life is superficial.

Our hopes and dreams in this life are so superficial. Once you are dead, they totally vanished, not even leaving you a hope to pursue them. And you don't know when you die. People usually think about achieving a life-long goal but they might die the next day.

Sometimes this makes me think about my hopes and goals. Obviously, all goals that I set in this life would not last long. I remember targeting for a goal I wanted to achieve and as soon as I got it, I felt like I am nowhere to go. What's next?

Even though life is short, I believe that everyone wants to feel loved. I want it too. One way to make people feel appreciated is to celebrate them on their special day/occasions. 

I came across a post on Facebook talking about how less we express our appreciation to people than to critique them. As a simple example, we can complain to our friend about the taste of her cookies when they are bad than to actually complement when most of the time, her cookies were good. We forgot about complimenting how amazing her cookies were because it has been something that happens often and then we can complain about how bad her cookies were when it happens for the first time.

So we celebrated someone's special day today and I was a bit jealous because everyone loved her (obviously, that's why they celebrate it) and also because she got a lot of gifts. She got so many gifts, all of those she loved and wished for. I have never been in her place, I think. Probably because she is a nice person with so many friends that's why she could actually get that many gifts. I think she is the kind of person that people would gather and mourn at her funeral because she was so precious. 

I want gifts on my birthday too. I want gifts that I wished for. I want to be appreciated. I want people to tell me how precious I am. I want to hear that. But I rarely heard that. Show me. 

I mean, how do you know when people appreciate you? Simple, it is when they say it or celebrate your day.

I don't want, "Hi, what are you doing?".

I want something like, "I just want to say Anis, you are so talented, I wish you all the best in life. I am always rooting for you, I believe in your dreams and I believe in you. You are beautiful and smart.".

I want that. 

But I don't know how people see me. Am I important to them? If I am, why don't they tell me? I am longing to hear that.

People say don't seek validation from people. This is not a validation I am asking for. Wake up, be realistic. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. That's all. But just the way they want to receive it is different. For me, I want to hear it. For me, it is shown from receiving gifts.

God, one person is enough. Thanks

Emotionally unstable Anis,

Dublin, Ireland.